Big Picture Thinking

I have a gift inside me, not sure if it's the spirit of discernment, or the ability to focus on what I call, "The Big Picture." At any rate, I'm thankful for it, and pray that it continues the rest of my life.

I could take this blog in any number of directions but I choose to single out four areas of human interaction that I believe these "big picture" items are often overlooked by many parents in today's world. This is not a critique but rather a clarion call for families everywhere to look more closely at root issues in their children's lives, instead of adopting a day-to-day, get-by mentality, looking forward to the day when we experience the empty nest.

Your children are a gift from God, and the Lord has given you the unique responsibility to raise them to become responsible, godly adults. This is non-negotiable. Do you want your children to excel in life? Of course you do! We pray all our kids meet adulthood with high expectations and general readiness. Frankly, it's our job as parents; and I believe one basis of our coming judgment when we stand before Jesus to give our children every benefit of life as we know it. And I'm not talking about entitlement! Yes, give your kids what they need but require something significant in return. Train them to be productive and responsible.

I note four significant areas of training that are being minimized in many homes today.

1. Spiritual development. Did you know that some parents let their children make the choice whether or not they attend the house of God? If the child pitches a fit about going and then sitting in church, parents relent and either stay home or allow their child to call the shots. My friends, it is our responsibility to train our kids in the fear and admonition of the Lord. When Sunday rolled around in our home, our children knew that church attendance was non-negotiable. We attended church as a family. But more than that, we talked about the things of God at the dinner table, we said prayers at bedtime, we made Jesus the focus of our home life. May I ask, "Who's running your house?" Your children are on loan to you from the Lord and their spiritual development is your responsibility before the Lord. You are first and foremost their parent, not their facilitator or friend. That comes later!
2. Reading skills. Why do I harp on reading skills? Reading and comprehension skills continue to remain at an all-time low in America. We homeschooled our kids, and I partially resent the accusation that homeschoolers are academically challenged. However, that doesn't change the fact that many of our children are below average readers. Here's my concern. If kids remain poor readers, one very scary thing will happen: they presumably will not read their Bible and they will move through life uninformed and ignorant of the enemy's devices. Satan wants to keep this new generation limited in their ability to succeed. Job interviews run amok when those searching have limited reading skills. The big picture in regards to reading is that our children will not have the life-giving Word of God stored inside them. They will flounder spiritually. Make sure your kids become above average readers! Provide them with books and be ready to discuss what they read.
3. Poor social skills. Please insist that your children develop good interaction skills. Make them think! Don't allow them to remain quiet and shy. Expect them to develop socially and to express themselves verbally. Good people skills are a must! Model effective, meaningful verbal skills in front of them. Don't allow them to live on their phone or other devices. Their interactions with other people are mandatory life skills. How many times have I tried to engage others, and was met with a grunt, one-word answers, or even ignoring me? This is unacceptable. When together with your children, pull conversation out of them. Teach them how to formulate their thoughts and participate in mutually satisfying conversations. Accept nothing less than meaningful exchange and respect. How will our kids manage to get good jobs or navigate life with poor people skills? I struggle with individuals and sometimes entire families who attend Hope Community, and seldom if ever converse with others. They come in, find an isolated area, and talk to no one. Some don't even make eye contact! "We're shy," they say. Then become "un-shy!" Sadly, some of them leave while saying, "Nobody talked with us!" You think! Are you kidding me right now? Put the blame where it belongs, poor people skills. In the big picture, those with poor people skills seldom develop meaningful friendships, they spend their life lonely and isolated. They become fodder for the enemy to keep them ensnared in shyness and undeveloped people skills. This is truly sad!
4. Poor work ethic. I'm seeing a lot of kids who feel entitled, that the world, their parents and others owe them a living. A recent poll indicates that over 50 percent of high school grads fail to prepare for their future financially. They have no idea what they want to do with their life after graduation, and they feel anxiety ridden. God created us and placed within us potential. We all have gifts to help us find fulfillment and perhaps even provision, money, as we move through life. When I was 14 years old, I knew I wanted to go into full-time ministry. I left other options open as well. I loved to write, read and teach; and throughout my life all three gifts have served me well. When I graduated from college, I not only had my ministerial credentials, but also state-approved, life-long teaching credentials to teach high school English. Parents, ask God to show you the gifts He has placed within your children, and give them the tools to reach their goals. And by the way, start talking about such goals when the children are young. This gives the Lord time to reinforce their dreams and future plans. Don't allow them to adopt a "get-by" mentality when it comes to vocations, life dreams, and interests. Talk about dreams and future expectations often!